Most of my friends have already experienced it, but when you graduate there's this weird feeling of being in-between.
You've graduated, but if you're from Bethel you still haven't gotten your diploma.
You're done with school, but now there is the rest of your life, whatever that means.
I've noticed these last few weeks how much I like this in-between life.
We want things to feel in-between because it grows this hope inside of us. It feels religious, almost, how we excuse the present moment of its hardness because we secretly anticipate a future where we'll be free from our current struggles.
Of course, I'd never say it out loud. But somehow all my dreams of the future don't feature any of the hard things in my life right now. My marriage is always blooming, my job always feels like a calling, and my life with God always hums. The colors of my future always pop. Between you and me, it's a world where all things are made new and every tear is wiped from my eyes.
In this one-man cult of my sexy future, I'm both the leader and the follower, drinking the kool-aid I can't stop making.
And how quickly the kool-aid turns mossy and green, when I realize that I was doing the same thing five years ago about my life now.
I was married, but married life ended up having warts.
I was living my calling, but it turns out my calling is something I mostly live in fragmented parts.
I was living life with God, but like an old Buick it's actually running in fits and starts.
So as I think about life post-graduation, I'm trying not to cheat on the present with the future. If we're really honest, your future probably won't feel that much better on any given day. Some things will probably get a little lighter, and some things will just keep sucking.
And, like Jesus might say, who by fantasizing about the future can add a single beautiful thing to their present?
photo cred: RAYGEN BROWN OF COURSE